May 18, 2018
I like to think of myself as an atheist. It is not easy though, being from a deeply religious family. To me, the idea of God and the stories that go with it have always appeared what Yuval Harari terms as “common myths”. God, to me, seems too mystical and idealistic to be true. Well, I can go on and on (ranting :P) about my feelings on the concept of a deity. That is not the point I am trying to make though.
Today, it was different.
You know the kind of moment when everything just changes, and you know that it is for the best. The kind of moment that words can never do justice to. The moment that was just a dream until that very second.
There was lightning.
There was roar.
There was jubilation.
There were tears.
There was euphoria.
There were goosebumps.
There was just enough of everything to make that moment a forever.
You know, the enormous elation and satisfaction that people experience when they complete a pilgrimage, I get that now! मैं धन्य हो गया !
Have you seen your God yet? Because I just witnessed mine.
PS: I got to fulfil my lifelong dream of watching MSD play live. The welcome he received when he came out to bat was nothing short of phenomenal. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life ❤
You want me to talk?
Ever since I was a toddler, I was taught to listen. Listen to mom, listen to papa. Listen to relatives and society. Listen to friends.
Listening to everyone I forgot how to talk, how to express my feelings. I forgot what it means to open up, what it means to pour my heart out.
Perhaps that is why I always listen to your stories, trying to find a piece of me in them. Perhaps that is why I love quotes, looking for words to describe what is inside me
You want me to talk, when all I do is to listen ?
Disclaimer: The story is entirely based on true events. Parts of it may Rattle you.
It’s a warm summer evening in office. Deadlines hanging around my neck. The pressure is immense.
Come in existential crisis. I am questioning my life decisions. Why am I doing this? Do I really need to work so hard? I could have just enjoyed my college vacations. How hard would it would it be to just walk away from all of this right now?
Ummmm……well. It’s surely time. Time for the walk. The walk to the coffee machine. Maybe some harmless caffeine will set my thoughts straight. Maybe some harmless caffeine will give me the much-needed reality check.
Fate though had other plans. Who knew that my reality cheque was soon going to bounce!
Before we move on, time for some flashback. Remember the Sanskrit shloka that essentially said that you learn a quarter by reading, a quarter from your teacher, a quarter from your peers and most importantly you learn a quarter only with time and experience. Pretty deep, right? And do you remember the story of the rattrap peddler who had this philosophy that “The world with all its luxuries…… is a rattrap”? A pretty amusing analogy. I could never really derive much sense out of it though. I guess a quarter of this analogy was still left to be understood.
Back to voyage-de-caffeine. Cup in my hand and I press the button on the coffee machine. The brown thing is served to me. Routine stuff, right? Only the brown thing is a Rat. A freaking living rat! Turns out that the machine and the rat had been together for some time now. In a symbiotic relationship. They had done a great job in keeping it private until our paths crossed.
My reaction? I think I was Rattled. And no, I didn’t have flashbacks of me gulping down cups and cups of coffee all these days. I didn’t feel like vomiting the whole day either. My memory seems hazy. Afterall, it was a moment of profound realizations. You know the kind of moment when it really hits you. Suddenly somehow all of it made sense. All it took was the Wrath of the Rat to awaken me to this simple truth. The world is indeed a Rattrap. It lures us in the rat-race, promises us all the comforts and we keep falling deeper into the Rat hole. It makes us sin and also makes us atone for them.
Even though the incident still plagues my mind (pun is always intended!), it definitely made me more Rational. How do I feel at the end of it?