Letter From A Hopeless Romantic

Hi Love

You have always loved to play hide and seek, haven’t you? You seem to pretty good at it. Seeking, was never my cup of tea. I give up now! I think the time has come for your “dhappa”. I wouldn’t mind it at all. In fact, I’d secretly love it. I’d finally get to see you and your smile.

I see you dying of laughter as you try to teach me to dance. I with a sheepish grin fail terribly to match your steps. It’s not my fault though! How so you expect me to concentrate while you giggle incessantly.

I see us discussing how modern love is not love. I see us doing everything old-school. I see us having intelligent conversations.

And booookssss! I don’t usually lend books, but for you I’ll make an exception. We’ll collect books together! I’ll try to catch your literary references and will try to make some too. Have you read The Perks of Being A Wallflower? It’s my favorite book! Don’t worry if you have seen the movie already. The best part is that the author has only directed the movie.

I see you laughing not at my jokes, but at how hard I try to crack them. I will teach you to appreciate puns, don’t worry. You’ll see how it is the most beautiful thing in the entire world.

I am yet to figure out whether you are gonna be a tea or coffee person. I’ll make you like tea, that’s for sure.

I know about all that talk of self love and you-dont-need-anyone-else, but without you there , the world somehow seems a very lonely place to be.

We haven’t probably even met (have we?) and I have already burdened you with so many expectations, haven’t I? You know how much I romanticize things. I know you’ll be just perfect (See? another expectation!).

Or maybe none of my fantasies come true. All I know is that you’ll be worth all the wait. So when do you plan your “dhappa”?

Only yours
Hopeless Romantic

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Lets give people a chance!

Why is it that people, friends, partners fall apart?

Why is that people who ‘knew’ one another inside-out suddenly become strangers?

Is it because we ‘understand’ them so well that we don’t make efforts to understand them anymore?

Why is it that our benefit-of-doubt never seems to favour our loved ones?

Why is it the easiest to pass sweeping judgements about people we care about?

Maybe for once, lets give people a chance.

See? Easy!

All I had to do was get out of the apartment for a couple hours so Uncle Marshall could propose to Aunt Lily, go to the bar, meet your Aunt Robin, convince your Aunt Robin to fall in love with me, break up with your Aunt Robin, go on the rebound, go get All I had to do was get out of the apartment for a couple hours so Uncle Marshall could propose to Aunt Lily, go to the bar, meet your Aunt Robin, convince your Aunt Robin to fall in love with me, break up with your Aunt Robin, go on the rebound, go get a rebound tattoo, go get the rebound tattoo removed, meet Stella, convince Stella to fall in love with me, get engaged, get left at the altar, get fired, get beat up by a goat, get a job as a professor, teach the wrong class, date the wrong girl, date the wrong girl again, date the wrong girl a few times, actually, let Uncle Barney fall in love with Aunt Robin, let Aunt Robin fall in love with Uncle Barney, book the wedding band, go to their wedding, make sure their wedding actually happened, leave a little early, be in the right place at the right time, and somehow, summon the guts to do the stupidest, most impossible thing in the world: Walk up to that beautiful girl standing under the yellow umbrella… and start talking.\n\nSee? Easy. a rebound tattoo, go get the rebound tattoo removed, meet Stella, convince Stella to fall in love with me, get engaged, get left at the altar, get fired, get beat up by a goat, get a job as a professor, teach the wrong class, date the wrong girl, date the wrong girl again, date the wrong girl a few times, actually, let Uncle Barney fall in love with Aunt Robin, let Aunt Robin fall in love with Uncle Barney, book the wedding band, go to their wedding, make sure their wedding actually happened, leave a little early, be in the right place at the right time, and somehow, summon the guts to do the stupidest, most impossible thing in the world: Walk up to that beautiful girl standing under the yellow umbrella… and start talking.

See? Easy.

Saying Out Loud

You know there are a few things that you have always wanted to say out, put it on record, but never really did. I have always been a wallflower. I have tried to blend in groups and failed. Every single time.

Here are some facts about me:

  • I am socially awkward. I have tried making small talk, but I have always failed. I cannot keep a conversation going. I absolutely lack those skills. I want to talk to people sometimes but, I don’t know the algorithm to do so. Even when I really want to talk to someone, I fail terribly. Initiating a conversation is a Herculean task for me. I am absolutely bad at keeping touch with people. This has cost me many of my friends.
  • The world is a very lonely place to be. They say the idea of love or “the one” is overrated. You don’t need someone to complete yourself. You are self-sufficient. Wouldn’t it be nice though to have someone you could go back to anytime and talk about absolutely anything without any fear or hesitation? Isn’t this the “one” everyone seeks? Someone called “home”.
  • Music? Dance? Not my cup of tea. For me, it is just noise. Plain noise. Never been able to truly appreciate these art forms. Give me dead silence over these any day. Coming to parties, let’s not even talk about it. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than those trippy lights and loud music.
  • I crave deep meaningful conversations. Not just talking but communicating. I feel that I often give out the impression that I am not very keen on talking.My social awkwardness reigns supreme. If only one could look through my mind.
  • The thing that I hate the most? The fact that people build/modify their opinions about a person based on what others have to say about him/her despite already knowing and understanding that person. If someone is nice to me why should I believe you when you say that he is not a nice person. As long as he is nice to me, everything’s fine.

Conversations

S: Why are you so quiet? You don’t talk much now, do you?
T: No. I don’t.
S: Why? What? Did something happen?
T: No. Not really.
S: Then?
T: I am scared.
S: Scared of what?
T: Scared of what I have become. Scared of the words that come out of my mouth. Words that I seem to have lost control over.
S: You know, you can talk to someone if you want to.
T: Yeah, I know.
S: Then why don’t you?
T: Doesn’t everyone have their plates full already? If I can’t lighten up their lives, I could atleast not dampen it any further with what goes on in my head. That’s the least I could do.

Quote of the day #5

Sometimes, I look outside, and I think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just like I think that a lot of other people have read those books before. And listened to those songs.
I wonder how they feel tonight.

― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower