Ammu said that human beings were creatures of habit, and it was amazing the kind of things one could get used to.― Arundhati Roy,
Is it possible to experience something again? Can we somehow relive some of our best days? Can we go back to the person we used to be? Where are those once indispensable things now? Where did we lose our best ones? Where are those days of joy and adventure now?
Nostalgia, thou heartless bitch!
Sometimes, I look outside, and I think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just like I think that a lot of other people have read those books before. And listened to those songs.
I wonder how they feel tonight.
― Stephen Chbosky,
Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.
Walking down this familiar path,
I catch how much life has changed.
From racing together to school,
To solving those maths sums,
To sharing our daily stories;
What went wrong?
What did I do to be left
Marooned in this black burrow.
What made you take me up the hill;
And then leave me there stranded.
You were my guiding light,
What made you just walk away?
Was it my stupid actions?
Was it my taking you for granted?
Perhaps we may never fathom.
Seasons back little did we imagine
This perennial spring shaping into
the excruciating autumn of unknowings.
We talk but no more converse,
We know but do not understand.
The cemented walls separating us
seem too thick for emotions
We have learned to exist singly,
even in each other’s company.
The voids left within us
And all that remain are
Caution: This piece is aimed solely towards you.
Beep. Buzz. Repeat.
Well, that’s the recursion most of our lives are stuck in. The constant notifications never leave us in peace. But then, peace of mind is too overrated, ain’t it. I have to know what’s going on in my classmate’s life whom I otherwise wouldn’t talk to or I have to find out why is everyone sending those laughing emojis in Some_Random group; something really funny must have happened. I can’t afford to be left behind. What’s the use of technology if I do not have the latest updates about anything and everything?
The fact is we have let ourselves become so habituated to technology especially the social media that without them we feel vulnerable.
No wonder social media “addiction” is now regarded as a psychological disorder. I wonder sometimes as to why it so. Why are we so attached to our phones and laptops? Why is there an urge inside us to always be online? Why do we get fidgety without a certain minimum “screen time” each day? Why have we started to give more value to people’s opinion about our very own lives? Why do we tend to measure a person’s worth with the number of likes he/she is able to gather?
Pondering upon these questions one realises that technology is seductive when what it offers, meets our human vulnerabilities. And as it turns out, we are very vulnerable indeed. We are lonely but, at the same time fearful of intimacy. Digital connections and the social media may offer the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. Our networked life allows us to hide from each other, even as we are tethered to each other. We’d rather text than talk. Texting offers just the right amount of access. It puts people not too close, not too far, but at just the right distance. People take comfort in being in touch with a lot of people whom they also keep at bay. There is absolutely nothing wrong in this. Still, things don’t seem right, do they?
With the fascination to connect with ‘friends’ online comes the risk of disconnection with friends waiting for us to be present in the offline world. Give it a thought. When we are actually going downhill in our lives who will be there to pull us back, the real friends or the virtual ones? We on the other hand sometimes tend to give more importance to connections over relationships. Taken that we are lonely sometimes and the network seems fascinating. But if we are always on, we may deny ourselves the rewards of solitude. We expect more from technology and less from each other.
“As we distribute ourselves, we may abandon ourselves.”
Have we not recently put too much stock in others’ awareness and approval of our very own lives and faces. A picture may say a thousand words, but most of them today just plead, “Please Like Me.” The truth is, the like we earn from a picture we post on the internet is only a like of our physical image. Not all those who click “like” truly know us, even if we title the photo “soul.jpg.” Only a few people actually care about us, the rest are just curious. And it is not their flaw. We humans cannot care and treat everyone in the same manner. Some are friends and some are just connections. Accepting the difference between them and treating them accordingly is of utmost importance for a smooth and peaceful life. It doesn’t matter how many people we have on a social networking site. What matters is how we benefited them and how we benefited from them.
We are more than our body. We are more than the person we try to portray ourselves as in front of people we meet virtually. Is our existence just defined by an username and password? It’s as if it is the password to one’s soul. We are definitely more complex than that. No ones like matter more than our own opinions and our own memories.
“The wise do not buy into other people’s perceptions of who they are and what they are capable of. Instead, they bypass a person’s public persona and see who they are in their highest expression. When you see actions taken with integrity, instead of words only, you will then know a soul’s worth.” ― Shannon L. Alder
So can I call you mine now, darling.For a whole life time?
Most of the people in my age are always looking for someone to fall in love with. The perfect match! Someone who can be the apple of their eyes. Someone who completes them. Someone who makes them feel special. The search is always on. As it turns out in most cases, it’s easier to find a needle in a haystack. But why is it so? Why are we always concerned about finding The One? Is it because man is a social being and he is not programmed to live alone. I guess there comes a point in everyone’s life when we need someone around whom we can feel special. Someone who fills the hollows inside us. A person we can LOVE.
But then, what IS love and why do so many people who love each other tend to fall apart after a certain time? Love probably is the most innocent of all emotions, the purest of all feelings. Words cannot do justice in describing the true feeling of love. It can only be experienced( clichéd I know :p). Sadly though, love as a word is used so abundantly that it has lost its true meaning somewhere. Today, love in its true sense is misunderstood. It is easier to “love” a person than to like him (her). At times some of us get too eager to be in a relationship. It is not always because we want something out of it. The social high-standing a committed person gets is a lot to be blamed upon. Relationships, in fact are extremely overrated. One cannot deny the fact a relationship is an important aspect of any individual’s life but, a troubled relationship can have severe adverse effects on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. As it is said, relationships are like farts, if you have to force it then it is shit!
Being intimate with the person we love is generally thought to be equivalent to being physical. But is it so? The current that passes through us when we are with that person, the Goosebumps we get merely thinking about that person, that’s the real intimacy. The intimacy of two souls! “Making love” comes much later. It is the ultimate expression of love but, should it be the foundation of a relationship. Think about it. Among all the love stories we have read or seen, did two people fall for each other merely by getting physically intimate? No! In our age it’s generally the feeling of lust that drives people into physical intimacy. In the long run, it can have serious repercussions on the emotional, mental and physical health of both the individuals.
I sometimes wonder though as to how does one truly fall in love. Does it happen when we are searching for it or does it happen accidentally when we least expect it to? Different stories for everyone maybe. The idea of love at first sight though eludes me. How possibly can we experience the inner depths of a person merely by looking at her (him)? It should rather be termed as an attraction at first sight. True love is definitely deeper than that. Unlike gravity, the force of true love does not hold us back. It rather pushes us to fly high in both public and personal lives. The feeling of contentment and inner calm with her(him) just being around will tell it all. The reality will probably be better than our dreams. Our happiness will be a function of her(his) happiness. We can continue to be ourselves knowing that they shall always be there for us. All this is possible if and only if we “fall” for the right person. Falling in “love” with the wrong person is as dangerous as riding a mad horse. You don’t know where it will lead you to. When you start developing feelings for a person, ask yourself “if that person gains 10kgs more, will I still like her (him) the same?” The answer will let you know what has to be done. In the end, true love is all about how you connect with a person. A good friendship is the basis of an everlasting relationship. It is a lack of friendship not a lack of love that makes unhappy relationships.
To all those seeking their love, hang in there. Keep on learning, growing, meeting new people and enjoying life. A day will come when someone will make this beautiful gift of life even more worthwhile. And soon or later, in our hearts we will know that this is the One.
“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” – William Shakespeare